Three weeks ago, I told you my story with my father about the fact that I felt that he was going to tell me a great news: he was surely going to have a child with his partner and that for me it was very difficult to accept his choices. (Click here to see the post.)
Here we are! I just learned this weekend that she is 2 months pregnant.
In hindsight, what bothers me the most isn’t so much the fact of having another brother or a sister, it’s the fact that I don’t know his girlfriend and that we have only 3 years of difference. I actually have a huge problem with his age.
In addition, I feel like I’m being excluded from this new family that is being built without me, they both live in different countries and she doesn’t bother to know me. I don’t know exactly what that means and if that’s normal? I don’t really have a comparable scheme. Having always lived with my mother, my two half-brothers and I always grew up together and I always knew my step father. No one appeared one fine day and told me that I was going to have a brother or sister without knowing that person. I am usually very close to my family, I don’t see myself at all not fulfilling my role of big sister, but I have the impression that this time it’s not really me who decides whether or not I have a role to play. What ultimately comforts me about the choice I was about to make.
Everything is very confused. Maybe I just need time. I hope so!!!