I killed my dog

Last summer was the worse summer of my life, it was the summer when I killed my furry best friend. People always say I didn’t kill my dog, but that’s what it feels like for me.


Casper (his name) was a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and the most beautiful dog I had ever seen. I got him when I was 15 years old and I was in love right away! When Casper turned 5 we noticed something was wrong. We took him to the vet and discovered that he was deaf. A couple years later we were told that his heart began to fail.  The vet said he only had 6 months left to live, which of course was devastating.

As the months went by Casper seemed fine. He was a happy dog with a lot of love to give. Three years later, when he was 10 years old, we started noticing he was in pain. He didn’t want to go for walks or be touched. That’s when we realized we had a choice to make, and we knew the right thing to do was to put him to sleep. July 17th 2014 was the day I killed my dog. I say killed because that’s how I feel. The morning we brought Casper to the vet, he seemed just fine. He was running around, wagging his tail and kissing me. How could we put him to sleep? He didn’t seemed sick at all. But deep down I knew he just had a good day, and that tomorrow would probably be different.

Even though I know it was the right thing to do, it still feels like I killed him – just because he was such a happy dog that morning.

My tattoo of Casper
My tattoo of Casper

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Kiara Morales says:

    I am very touched by your post Lise. Casper seemed like such a wonderful companion. Our family also lost a pet chihuahua tragically a few years ago and it is certainly not the same without him. A bond with a pet is very special and goes on even after they are gone!

    1. Lise Hanssen says:

      I’m so sorry to hear about your dog! It really is devastating to lose them. Can I ask how you lost your chihuahua? I understand if you don’t want to tell me.

      1. Kiara Morales says:

        Of course! Taco, was his name, and even though he was small, he would protect our other bigger dog, and, unfortunately, was hit by a car while they were chasing each other.

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