Knowing this is it!

Talking about arranged marriages in India, it is weird how Indian parents who tell their daughters not to be talking to strangers suddenly want them to spend their life with one. I’ve been talking to a few people here and they seem to be completely in awe when I tell them that I’ve had an arranged marriage. So I thought I’ll make use of this opportunity and elaborate a bit on that.

Arranged marriage isn’t as bad as it sounds, it is a lot more fun actually. Especially when you come from a country like India where it is not socially acceptable for a guy and girl to go out on a date, it is a refreshing change to see your parents set up a date for you with a handful of eligible guys. Yea, you heard it right. You actually get to go out with as many guys as long as you don’t find the one.

Well traditionally this wasn’t the case and the girl and the guy would practically meet each other on the day of their wedding, but that has drastically changed over time. Now you get the opportunity to meet the guy, go out, get to know each other and then decide if he is the one. And here lies the problem. You just get to meet the guy once or twice before you take the call.

So how do you now that he is the one you want to spend your life with.. He’s the one for you? I thought I could never figure that out. I went around asking people who’d an arranged marriage and everyone had the same thing to say.. You just know it when you meet the right person. And no matter how weird it sounds, that is exactly how it works.

Indian Engagement
Indian Engagement

The first time I met him, I knew that this is it. One meeting and I knew that he is the one I wanted to marry. It may be hard to believe but we just met twice before we got engaged, a month after we first met. I still don’t have an answer as to how do we get to know, but now I do believe that you just know. The first look, the connection, the vibes you share, the comfort you feel.. I really don’t know. But when you meet the right person, you just know that THIS IS IT!

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. adiepriye says:

    Oh i love Indian culture! I was just laughing as i read your blog. you also forgot to say that the women actually marry the men – that is, they pay the bride price- if i would say. And the man is priced by his level of education, also the men do wear the stone ring while the women wear the men’s wedding band. Interesting culture i would say. lol
    I could just imagine my mum looking for suitable man for me to date; that will never happen in African. if they must, it must be discreet. They even threaten a man that comes to marry their daughter, he has to go get his whole family to come beg the bride’s father to approve the wedding. Some cultures in my country use this opportunity to bill the man. Just like in india, they would bill the groom according to the woman’s educational achievements. the higher she climbs her educational ladder, the more expensive her bride price. Really interesting post you got here.

    1. hridya01 says:

      I do agree that the bride has to pay a price, rightly known as dowry, but that is changing with time. Most of the people do not ask for a dowry anymore, though I do agree that it is time we stop that practise completely. Dowry is the number one cause of social evil in India. Also it is interesting to know about the traditions in the African culture. Thank you.

  2. yzhao18 says:

    What a kind of weird but interesting culture in India that I never knew before! As you say, it may not be a bad thing to date with a selected guy because to some extent, the guy that your parents choose for you is suitable both for yourself and for the whole family. However, it’s a little hurried to engage with him just after two or three dates. More time is a must to know more about his background.

    1. hridya01 says:

      I agree with you but generally the parents always do a background check before they shortlist the guys for you to meet. Also usually arranged marriages take place inside the sub-communities, and in India people are so closely associated with each other in their community that you always end up having quite a few common relatives. So the background is not really the issue.

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