“What happened to the ‘Chemistry’?” They asked one another in a confused, desperate tone, earnestly seeking some answers to their perplexed spirits.
As I watched these sophisticated, beautiful ladies I called my friends worrying over their marriages and love lives, I couldn’t help but feel there pain.
We were having lunch in a very beautiful garden when this conversation was made, suddenly lunch didn’t taste so good.
I listen as they wailed over there lost ‘Chemistry’. It made me ponder also on the issue.
The silence was really deafening suddenly; just a moment ago they were all chattering not so ladylike. I raised my head to see seven pairs of eyes staring at me, as if waiting for me to say something…what did I miss?
Apparently, Sophia had directed the questions to me, hence the deafening silence as they were attentive to hear my take on the issue, but I was deep in thought and didn’t hear her.
‘What do you say dear?’ she asked. ‘Yeah! how do you do it?’ They asked in chorus! At first, I just stared with my mouth wide open but couldn’t make any word. But they pushed, ”you’ve been married for long but you guys are like first timers, you still droll over each other like you met yesterday”. ‘ How are you still in love after over a decade and half? How is that still possible that you are physically still crazy over each other”? They asked and flooded the room with questions, curious enough to forget desert.
“Where did the chemistry go?” They asked once more.
My answer to that? It didn’t!
You see a lot of people quantify love to how u feel, (“chemistry”) alone, but it shouldn’t be so.
Love is a strong emotion that goes beyond the physical chills they call “chemistry”, it’s a feeling so strong, it’s like gravity that pulls you towards it.
It sometimes takes a piece of you; that’s why they say love is sacrifice. By Sacrifice I mean the things you do totally for the benefit of the other party (spouse, loved one, children, friend parents etc) and often times it’s not convenient and you have no personal gains or ulterior motive – just going all out to see the smile on someone’s face – that’s Sacrifice!
Look at it in this light: you met someone that’s not blood related to you, never have anything in common but you’ll give everything, bend over backwards for that person because you know that he/she is your soul mate.
It means that Love is “knowing!” Deep conviction of the true feelings you have for someone, nobody could convince you otherwise, you know that you know that you love him/her and because of this knowing trust is built on both sides.
When there’s that mutual love, trust and respect binding both parties, the chemistry will always be there, because they will always continue to cherish each other which eventually sustains the “chemistry”.
For me “Chemistry” is just the adrenaline rush of sex, triggered by the eyes, not the heart: hence the eye could see what physically it desires and falls over hills for it but one permanent thing is time and time brings changes, which could affect chemistry, if the eye doesn’t continue to see what attracted it in the first place it would start seeking it somewhere else.( a good example is one’s looks- if ‘looks’ is the foundation of a relationship, what happens when age, weight gain/loss, disfiguration caused by accidents, child bearing etc happens to ‘looks’ what will be left in the relationship…think!).