The Blank out Moments

wanting-to-say-something-but-not-knowing-what-to-say-90216They say you should never regret a single moment in your life. However, things don’t always go on the way you wish they would be. I’m not the one who usually regret on things I have done, but I often regret on things I haven’t done and sentences I haven’t said.

A typical scene goes as follows: a friend of mine wears a nice outfit to the class. I was trying to make a compliment. But the words got stuck in my throat, and it didn’t come out in the end.

Another scene goes like this: during a conversation, I hadn’t come out a good response to the topic, so I remained silence. Later I came out with some idea and I realized I should have respond like that, but the moment has gone.

This issue bothers me a lot. I want to be that cheerful and humorous person, but I can’t. Sometimes my mind just goes blank. Other times I fear to say something because I feel it could make me look stupid or cause others to ridicule me. I concern too much about what others might think of me. I know this is silly and I shouldn’t feel this way. I’m trying to fight with this problem, but still it’s really hard. Does anyone have a solution with this?

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. gigilauren says:

    I totally relate to these circumstances and how you feel. Sometimes I find myself getting caught up in my own thoughts and possible worst case scenarios. This can happen at any point in time. Someone could be talking to you, and you simply zone out before responding in some sort of way. So, your question is, how do I overcome this and have the confidence to just simply say how I feel? It’s not a matter of being cheerful all the time or having the need to make someone laugh. You simply can’t force or fake a reaction to someone. It has to come from you naturally. Whatever thoughts come to mind, try and say them in a confident way. Try to read the person you’re conversing with, and try understanding their intentions. Once you’re a better judge of other people, you gain confidence in yourself.

    1. yunfei says:

      Thank you for answering my problem! Yeah, you’re right. I definitely shouldn’t fake a reaction. I think I need to clear away all my fear of looking stupid and simply say anything that comes up my mind. It’s just so hard to build up that confidence.

  2. dounialoveny says:

    Hu Yunfei! I totally understand what you talking about, It happens to me sometimes and those moments are just so awkward! Especially here in NY because English is not my native language so when I want to say something I need time to think before speaking and when I finally find the right answer it’s too late.. I think the solution is just to have confidence, just don’t care about what people could think, end event if we say something stupid, people generally don’t remember it.

    1. yunfei says:

      Hi dounia! I 100% agree with you; that happens to me all the time! And I think you’re right that people don’t really care about what words we are using. Even if our grammar is weird, they usually can understand us, so that we still can communicate. I think this built up my confidence in some way. Thank you so much!

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